Cilantropist is an independent satirical publication reporting from the fresh edge of reality.
We cover public life, private appetites, market forces, cultural anxieties, and the persistent institutional failure to garnish responsibly. Our stories are fictional. Our tone is not.
Everything published here is original satire. No public figure, municipality, condiment, or geometric shape should interpret our reporting as a reliable account of events.
Editorial standard
We treat irrational situations as ordinary news, maintain a straight face, and leave the joke unexplained. Hexagons remain the bestagons unless credible evidence suggests otherwise.